Crushed relationship: lessons learned
I crushed a relationship with a woman.
Time to reflect.
First, things I like and dislike about her, for the record and future relationships.
1. Crisp and highly feminine directedness.
Highly feminine women are often silk smooth. She was smooth too, but her smoothness was that of a side of a chef knife. Loved it.
2. Precise mind of high brevity. Not soft in thinking.
Fast yet precise to judge, interestingly apt at planning.
3. Agile and fast execution of tasks at hand.
Taking action in an ordered manner. Responsibly. Prudent and practical.
4. Lack of focus.
Chasing a number of rabbits at the same time.
5. Slightly social status insecure.
I am a simple man and dislike sending a cacophony of social status signals. I just do my thing and I know where I'm going in life, so I don't need to signal anything. I have a complete disregard for flashiness. Too much bling bling makes me feel alien as fuck. This one hit me big time.
6. Notably unfulfilled by work.
Not sure what her vision for life is or if she has one.
Second, things she fucked up, for the record and future relationships.
1. Not keeping the word.
Third, things I've fucked up and need to improve right now.
1. Curb the natural impatience of the soul.
Productive impatience, useful or even critical to get stuff done quickly at work, kills the intimate microbonds and emotional fibre between people regardless of the relationship stage or intensity.
2. Adjust the caring.
Typically I overcare about the things I do and take them ridiculously serious, even if I have fun doing them. But not everyone is like that. Expecting others to apply the same level of seriousness to collaborative projects is unrealistic. People need more space and comfort. Micromanaging doesn't work in relationships.
3. Communicate preferred rules upfront.
I skipped this step and she didn't know how serious I'd be about all this.
All in all, it's my fault. It's on me.
I loved her mannerism though